Archive of ‘Do you punctuate?’ category

Our Love of Typography and Vulgar Language

DYP Postcards

You may think that we just slap a load of cheek on a card and that’s it.  But there’s a method and a passion behind what we do.  Typography, design and a love of linguistics is what makes us tick.

Founder, owner, and head-honcho Bec has a longstanding interest in print.  Typography has been her thing for a long time. DYP started out as a Letterpress printing studio, using mainly vintage wood type. The artwork created for all our products is based on a 1940s wooden type from Germany.  And Bec’s more than a bit nerdy about paper.  Oh yes, it has to be the right paper, not just any old card stock!

Typography Typography typography

Our cards and prints are inspired by the centuries-old craft of letterpress printing.  We love the beautify qualities of that traditional print.

typographySo, you may focus on the cheeky message, but we’ve spent hours selecting the right paper, and the right printer.  We’ve designed unique and individual fonts.  We’ve spent time getting the layout just right.  We’ve chosen the colours carefully.  Add luxury, traditional crafts, and a hefty dose of rude and what you get is DYP.  We love what we do!

 

 

 

 

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Profane or Obscene? It’s all Swearing to us!

Swearing

The Etymology of Swearing

A little while ago we wrote about the Science of Swearing.  But we’re also interested in the etymology of swearing – that’s the origins of the words.  One thing we’re really interested in is the way the meanings and use change over time.  It’s all very studious round here you know.  Even during the summer holidays!

In our earlier article we said that swear words in every language fell into one of three categories. They are either about body functions or sex, or connected to religion.  But it’s not quite that simple.  At least, not historically.  There’s profanities (swearing or oaths) and there’s obscenities.  What’s the difference?

Profane? Obscene? It’s all Swearing.

Well, to be profane, is to be unholy.  So, a profanity is “taking the Lord’s name in vain”.  Jeez, Oh Lord! Hell!, Jesus Christ! For Gods sake!  All profanities.  And very very sinful they are too!  Then there’s the obscenities.  That’s the bodily functions stuff – bloody, shit etc.  And the sex – don’t forget the sex! – and genitalia.  And OMG (profanity) is there a shitload (obscenity) of that!   By the turn of the 20th Century, the two started to be pretty much lumped together as “swearing”.

Swearing

What does it all mean?

The meanings of swear words get blurred when they get used as swearwords.  “Fuck” is an obvious example.   As an expletive, it really doesn’t mean “have sexual intercourse”.  We might sometimes use it in it’s literal sense, but mostly it’s the taboo that counts.  It emphasises bad.  Or sometimes good.  Or even indifference (“I don’t give a fuck”).  It also gets bunged in (sorry …) to sentences to mean whatever the (fuck) we want it to.  It’s original meaning is completely lost, once it’s used as a swear word. The important thing is that it’s an expletive.

The same goes for lots of obscenities.  When we call someone a cunt, we don’t actually mean they are a vagina.  Nor is “bugger the bills” a demand to have anal sex with your debts, however tempting that may be….

The Lost Words

What’s a real shame, is just how narrow our swearing vocabulary has got.   Lost in the annuls of time are chinkstopper, plugtail, fartleberries, lobcock, and huffle.  We’ll bring you more of that, if you can take it, next week.  Though top marks to you if you not only already know their meanings, but get them into everyday speech!

swearing swearingswearing

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Exam Results days are nearly here!

 

Exam results days are drawing near.  Are you quietly confident, or biting your nails?  Our own exam days are long behind us. But we’ve got our fingers and well everything crossed for everyone we know who’s going to be opening that brown envelope!

So, whatever the exam results, we know it’s been a long slog.  And you deserve a a big fat squidgy hug for that!

A Level Results: 18th August

GCSE Results: 25th August

Exam results Exam results

 

Exam results

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Camping? If you must, read our camping tips first.

Camping tips

Camping Tips

Looking for camping tips?  We can think of a million reasons why not to go camping, and most of them bite.   There’s midges.  And cold nights.  And having to walk half a mile for a pee.  And everything takes twice as much effort in a tent as it does in a house.  That’s why we live in houses.   And it will rain.  And midges.

And yet thousands of you will be planning a trip right now.  So we consulted our resident expert for some top camping tips to make the most of it.  Just don’t forget the custard.

Top Tips from our Camping Expert

  1. Red wine should be drunk at room temperature. A cold damp British field is not room temperature.  Cold red wine = miserable campers.  Take white wine, or beer, or spirits.
  2. Those cheap tents they call “festival tents”?  Just don’t.  There’s a reason they’re cheap.  You need a proper tent.  For proper British camping weather.   Check the reviews.
  3. Want creepy men come over to “help you pitch your tent” ?  Don’t bother to even look at the tent’s instructions.  Otherwise practice pitching your tent before the trip.
  4. Arrive at your site during daylight so you can pitch your tent properly. That way it won’t leak or blow away.   Also, you don’t want to wake up and find you have pitched across the main thoroughfare to the bogs.
  5. Take a emergency tent repair kit: solvent glue for emergency waterproofing of tent seams; gaffa/duct tape for mending everything; spare guy lines and pegs; a needle and thread.
  6. A tidy tent is a happy tent! Look, if the weather gets bad, and your tent leaks or blows down, you’re gonna thank me for this.  If your belongings are strewn across your tent, they’re gonna get wet.  If they’re packed in your rucksack, they’re not.
  7. Never have a lit flame in your tent.  Yeah yeah, everyone does it … I’m being a kill-joy.  But if you’ve ever seen the burn scars on someone who’s been in a tent fire … just don’t.  (It takes seconds for a tent to completely burn down, you won’t have time to put out a fire)
  8. Don’t skimp on your sleeping bag.  Even summer nights get really cold in the UK.  If you’ve only got a thin one, one of those cheap fleece throws inside your sleeping bag works well.  Also, an aluminium water bottle makes a half decent hot-water-bottle if needs must.  But make sure the lid is watertight.
  9. You need something between you and the ground. If you’re tough/young a thin insulating mat will do the trick.  But an airbed will be more comfortable.  And put an insulating mat on top of it.  That way, you’ll be comfortable and warm
  10. Lots of thin layers are warmer than one thick.  Leggings or woolly tights under trousers are super-warm for evenings.  And waterproof footwear.  You’re not gonna care about sexy or trendy when you’ve got trenchfoot.
  11. Wet-wipes. Take loads.  The cheap kind you get in discount stores.  Use them for mopping up spills, wiping your hands, cleaning muddy groundsheets, etc.  And plastic bags – sandwich bags, bin bags, carrier bags.  Don’t ask why – you’ll see.
  12. That rustling you hear in the night? It’s a hedgehog going for your sliced brown.  Pack as much of your food as you can in airtight plastic boxes.
  13. Freeze some of your food and pack it frozen (milk, a premade chilli or curry, butter, cheese, meat etc). It keeps your cool box cold for longer.
  14. Put your matches in an airtight plastic box. You can’t light a stove with damp matches. A cig lighter is crap for lighting stoves btw.
  15. Have enough fuel for your stove. Whatever your stove needs, that’ll be the one kind of fuel the campsite shop doesn’t have.
  16. Put your phone sim in your prehistoric Nokia from like 2010. The battery will last all week.  And jeez, everyone can wait till you get back to hear about your trip.  No, really, they can.
  17. Remember your torch. Take spare batteries.  (See  no 15)
  18. Insect repellent. Lots of it.  All the time, but especially in the late afternoon, early evening.
  19. Earwigs do NOT get in your ears and bore into your brain. Get a grip.
  20. A wet camper is a miserable camper. Custard is cheering.  Take custard.

    Camping Tips

    Keep your matches in an airtight box

 

 

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We’ve been nominated for an award!

Nominated for an Award!

We’re up for another award!  And it’s all down to the hard work of Bec.  DYP has been going from strength to strength over recent months.  Our orders have been through the roof.  Who’d have thought two years ago we’d be having to take on staff? It’s been a thrilling ride. But not only that, our achievements have been officially recognised.

ESpark

DYP founder and head honcho Bec Gilray, has been part of Entrepreneurial Spark for 12 months.  E-Spark is a national business accelerator for new ventures funded by Natwest.  “Our Leeds entrepreneurs have accomplished some amazing feats in recent months, from raising substantial investment to creating jobs, disrupting the market, and creating a positive impact on the UK economy, and I would like to say a massive well done to them all!” says CEO of Entrepreneurial Spark Lucy-rose Walker.  These awards celebrate how far they’ve progressed.

So far Bec has won a number of prizes for the progress of the business.  Now she’s been nominated for the Acceler8 Entrepreneuring Award, along with two other local businesses.   There’s thousands of pounds in prize money at stake, but it’s amazing just be nominated.  We couldn’t be more proud.  We’re keeping our fingers and toes, and frankly anything that can be crossed, crossed.  The winner will be announced at a prestigious Awards ceremony this Wednesday.

Entrepreneurial Spark was first set up in Scotland by entrepreneurs with experience of start-up businesses. It has since been rolled out across the UK.  A private not-for-profit company, it’s main partners are RBS and Natwest.  It is also supported by KPMG.  The support Bec has received includes courses, mentoring, networking, peer support, access to resources, and greatly raised profile.  The past 12 months with ESpark has been a major catalyst for the growth of DYP.

Catalyst for Growth

Bec says “It’s been fantastic.  The contacts I’ve made have made all the difference, and I’ve learnt to think far more ambitiously about my business.  I’m so excited to have been nominated again.  It would be fantastic to win, but it’s great just to have the recognition of the progress I’ve made.  It’s great to take stock of everything we’ve achieved in the last year.”

Whether the award comes our way or not, we’ve got a lot of thanking to do.  And top of the list is our customers.  Finding new ways to be outrageously rude especially for you really is the best way of earning a living!

Thankyou

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Teachers Rock, Thankyou Teacher!

Thankyou Teacher

It’s time to say thankyou teacher.  The kids can’t wait for the hols.  No more school uniform, no more homework, no more lessons.  Lots of lie-ins, and playing-out.  Teachers in the meantime are frantically checking that everything’s been done.   Have all the papers been marked?  Have all the children reached their goals?  Are the reports written?  Have lists been ticked?  Is everyone ready for the next year?  And looking forward to 6 weeks of rest.  But before you get jealous of that six week holiday, here’s 10 reasons teachers rock.  And why they need those 6 weeks.  And to say thankyou teacher.

  1. They put up with our kids, even when they are really really horrible. Without totally losing it.
  2. They help their students learn what they thought they’d never learn. They’re inspire and encourage.
  3. Even when they have hundreds of parents waiting to talk to them, or thousands of emails to answer, or a zillion papers to mark, they are still there in the classroom, teaching the lesson
  4. They have 30 or more children in every class. 30 or more different needs and different problems.  And at least a handful of pains-in-the-butt.  And yet somehow, they manage to teach them all.
  5. They’re patient and forgiving and will teach your kids even when they are the worst kids ever.
  6. They get all sorts of criticism from the public and in the press. And yet 93% of teachers say the reason they teach is they want to make a difference to student’s lives.
  7. They get really long holidays, yet only 17% of them say that was an important factor in choosing to go into teaching.
  8. They spend every evening of term time marking work and planning lessons. And most weekends too.
  9. They sacrifice family time and a social life to give their best to their pupils.
  10. They can drink a cup of tea in 2 minutes and eat their lunch in 4. Just so they can rush to the next lesson, or the next meeting.

So lets give it up for the teachers.  Where would we be without them?  Happy holidays teachers, enjoy your rest, you deserve it!

Thankyou Teacher Thankyou Teacher Thankyou Teacher Thankyou Teacher

 

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Positive Thinking? DYP says Chin Up Love!

Positive thinking? Pah! How many times do you see those memes in your timeline?  The ones telling you to everything will fall into place through positive thinking?  Are you like us and thinking, yeah right… that’ll work?

Are you going, ah yes, I’ll think positive and I’ll be a great success?  My bills will get paid; my roof will mend itself … are you?  Or like us, are you thinking fuck that shit, and scrolling down the page.  We’ve been wondering where all this Positive Thinking comes from, so we’ve done some digging.

Our favourite Positive thinking memes

We’ve crawled through our timelines and found some you’ll just love!

Positive Thinking

Where positive thinking all started

We were wondering where all this positive thinking malarkey began.    It turns out it has its origins over a 100 years ago.  It started out as a bit of a rebellion against Calvinist work ethic.  It has influenced lots of New Age thinking.  But it also influenced the Christian Science movement: the power of the mind.

But it’s not all great.  People have pointed out the danger of positive thinking. Barbara Ehrenreich(1) says that it hasn’t helped the American economy one bit. She argues the cult of positive thinking means no-one makes contingency plans.

Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen(2) devised experiments to see if positive thinking works.  What she found out was startling.  Those who were thinking positive thoughts about their work achieved less!  It was like they’d relaxed too soon.

The Power of Negative Thinking

Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism.”

Arnold Bennett

Positive Thinking

Negative thinking all started with the Greek Stoics in the 3rd Century BC. They believed that negative things are only negative because you think they are, and that by facing up to the worst, you can then realise that it isn’t the worst at all.  There’s a whole lot more shit can happen, and so you may as well be content with what you’ve got.

More recently, research suggests that the route to happiness is not positivity at all.  In fact, it can make things worse. Squaring up to the worst case scenario gives you the heads up.  It gives you chance to take evasive action.  Pretending you’re not scared doesn’t mean you’re not scared.  Best to look it in the face, check the danger signs.

So … we don’t want you going round being negative all the time.  And a bit of positivity is good for us.   But keep it real guys, keep it real!

 

  1. Smile or Die: How Positive Thinking Fooled America and the World; Barbara Ehrenreich; 2010
  2. As cited in The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking; Oliver Burkeman; 2012
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Trust a Poet – If a good insult is what you need!

Insult

Trust a poet if a good insult is what you need!

Want to know how to really insult someone? If a good swear is what you need, trust a poet to come up with the goods.   Say what?  Yeah, well it has to be the right poet obviously.

Back in the day, John Cooper Clark was your go-to insult monger.  And his poem “Twat” is a classic.  He may not be from Yorkshire, but we love him, and his swears !  Next time someone needs a good telling, you know where to turn.

We never knowingly turn away from a curse.   A good swear is sometimes what you need.  Even when you don’t mean it.   DYP have a fine line in potty-mouth, all with the best possible intentions!   We’ve printed the old favourites.  We’ve learnt some new ones from our customers.  We’ve made some up.  Here’s some of our- and your- favourites:

insult insult insult insult insult insult HB_Cuntface_large HB_dickhead_1024x1024

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Anyone for Gin and Prosecco?

Anyone for tennis?  Balls to that, we’re cracking out the summer cocktails.

It’s the first day of Wimbledon and that means just one thing… it’s time to shake and stir some summer cocktails.  We’re not very sporty here at DYP but we do like a good cocktail.  And Wimbledon seems like a good excuse to dust off the cocktail shaker.  Ignore the weather forecast, make like it’s summer, and get mixing. Here’s some recipes to get you started.  Don’t forget to share your own recipes with us if you’ve got some good ones.

Summer Cocktails

Gin Prosecco Love and Laughter

Since we’re pretty much fuelled by gin prosecco and laughter, we’ll start with this one. Discerning drinkers discovered the joys of mixing gin and fiz at least 150 years ago. Summer Cocktails

  • 1 measure elderflower cordial
  • 1 measure lemon juice
  • 1 measure gin
  • Lots of ice
  • Plenty of laughter
  • A bit of love
  • Prosecco
  1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.  Pour in the elderflower cordial, lemon juice and gin, and shake.
  2. Add some laughter and love and shake some more.
  3. Strain into a tall glass, and top with Prosecco.
  4. Serve with a spring of mint if you’re being posh.

Pimm’s

The quintessential Wimbledon drink. Apparently the recipe is a closely guarded secret, with only a handful of people knowing it.  But do you know how to serve it?

  • Pimm’s
  • Lots of ice
  • Strawberries
  • Cucumber
  • Orange
  • Mint leaves
  • Pimm’s
  • Lemonade
  1. Slice the strawberries, cucumber and orange
  2. Fill a glass or jug with ice
  3. Pour in 1 part Pimm’s and add 3 parts lemonade.
  4. Chuck in the fruit and serve.

Gin Raspberry BeretSummer Cocktails

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A twist on the traditional French Martini and an ode to Prince all in one.

  • 1 part raspberry cordial
  • 1 part gin
  • Tonic water
  • Lots of ice
  • Slice of lemon
  1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice
  2. Add the gin and raspberry cordial
  3. Strain into a glass
  4. Top up with tonic water and add a slice of lemon
  5. ( you can of course just sling everything into a glass if you don’t have a cocktail shaker)

The Never-Ending One

And finally, our favourite of all the summer cocktails.  If someone asks you if you’d like a game of tennis, tell them, when you’ve finished your drink.

  • Champagne flute (or wine glass, highball, tumbler, mug)
  • Prosecco
  • Orange juice
  • Lemonade
  • Mint
  1. Fill the glass with prosecco.  Take a sip. Chuck the mint away.
  2. Refill the glass.
  3. Take glug.
  4. Refill it.
  5. Take another sip.
  6. Refill.
  7. Continue.
  8. Save the orange juice and lemonade for the next morning.

Happy drinking.  If you can still knock a ball over the net after all those, you’re not doing it right!

Remember to drink responsibly, don’t be stupid, be safe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Football Fan or Football Widow ?

Balls

Football Fanatic or Football Widow?

Its UEFA … bla bla bla football.  Or not.  Are you a football fan or widow?  Like it or not, this month’s gonna be all about the beautiful game.   If you love it, you’re gonna be in heaven.  If not, well ……

HFD Blah Football

“What time does the tourna…match… Euro thing start, football, rugby, whatever…  What is it? What time?”

This Saturday overheard conversations in our city centre were all football.  Enthusiasts explaining it to their other-halves.  Other-halves not even pretending to be interested.

Here at DYP towers some of us we’re a bit split.  Some of us barely notice it’s happening, some of us know a lot more than we want  Some of us accidently got excited by the Wales V Slovakia match on Saturday afternoon.  But enthusiasm waned by the time it got to England V Russia.

We asked our soccer specialists for some help.  “Right well, the Euros are every four years between the World Cup.  They started in….”  Hang on, we don’t need that much information.  “But I like talking about football.”  Oh.

“I’ve waited 58 years for this”

So what we know is if you’re Welsh, you’ve had a stonking weekend.  And well deserved we might say. (That’s coming from the accidental spectator).  If you’re an England supporter, not so much.  Just a predictable draw.  Which is still much better than the action off the pitch.  But still not that great.  The must-win feel of these knockout stage prevails.  Northern Ireland are already joint bottom in their group.  The Republic of Ireland have got it tough in Group E, but have managed to hold on to a draw so far.  Football fans are nothing if not optimists.  Never say never.  Maybe this time …

“I have nothing against football.  It just seems very wasteful losing two hours of my life to wtch 22 millionaires on TV chasing a gag full of wind in their underwear.”  Guy Martin

And so for the widows.  Or widowers.  What are you all up to?  You don’t care, you can’t be bothered?  Or plain pissed off with it all?  Don’t despair, there’s plenty more to do out there. It’s summer afterall.  A festival, a BBQ, a night in a TV-less pub?  Anyone for tennis?  As for us, well, as always there’s gin and prosecco!

This kitchen Football

 

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